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"You know Didi, I don’t know where to start"

April 26, 2020

Hello Didi, hello my sister, how are you? Everything nice?
Yes, I’m good
Little problem for food… Like this. But I’m good
Now market lockdown. Some shop is open… I don’t know when lockdown finish.
Cause now full problem.
I don’t know…
And you, good, everything nice?
Okay Didi, I will tell you about my life.
Many many years ago, I was in the desert with my family. I stayed in desert in a tent.
I had a marriage when I was very small. I moved in another village, in another tent.
My mama & my papa very poor. With me, one sister and one brother.
And my sister had wedding in Agra. Me in Jaipur. My brother is small.
Before I used to go in market to ask for money. And then, my father organized my wedding when I was 8 years old. Really small girl. My sisters had marriage at 10 years old. When my father died, we moved at husbands’ villages and my brother stayed alone. I think now he’s studying.
My life is… I don’t know where to start.
You know Didi, me I never been to school. I don’t read and I don’t write.
After I moved to my husband village, I had my first baby at age 14, and my second baby at age 19. And then, I left my husband, like 5 years ago. He was drinking alcohol, fighting. Traumas, many many bad stories.
One day he hit my son and I became crazy. I left.
I had to walk many days, many weeks to reach Ajmer. I was alone with my children. We finally reached Pushkar. I decided to stay there. Difficult road. I tried to get help from my mama, but it was not possible. Divorce is a bad thing for Indian people. Family does not approve. Even if it’s for good reason.
Now my father died many years ago… And I don’t look for my mama… I don’t know where she is. And I don’t look. Cause I made divorce, and when you make divorce, it’s complicated with family. Now my family is me and my two children. With my husband, it’s over. With my mama, it’s over. I had to start a new life by myself.
Being a woman alone in India is complicated.
Namaste Didi, hello my sister, how are you? Everything nice?
Good, good.
Yeah Didi, now I tell you about my friends
Some women have husband, marriage very difficult.
Some women have husband, alcohol problem, fighting… Husband is drinking the money. It’s not good.
Some women have no husband.
Some women have good husband, good everything, but difficult with money. It’s like this. Some women are separated. Like me.
Some women have 2 children, some 5, some 6…
Sometimes with husband, sometimes alone, always some difficulty. Life in tent in desert in never easy.
But the most important thing… We know how to manage. We keep the strong power. Even when everything is difficult. We know how to manage our selves.
Most of my friends are working, Henna making, Pushkar lake.
I tell you about my sister Kristin. Kristin is like family, but she is not family. It’s not blood family but we live like a family, all together in desert tent and we go Pushkar lake.
Because you know Didi, my job is to do Henna. I hang out with my soul sister around Pushkar Lake. They are my family now. We support each other’s but it’s difficult for all of us.
Sometimes we are strong. Sometimes not. It’s like this.
During Coronavirus, I stay in my tent with Angelie, my daughter and Bobby, my son. I pray for my children, I pray for my friends, I also pray for you in Canada. Because you and your other friend, Bianca, you are my sisters.
Some people think Coronavirus is funny. They think it’s a joke. I don’t understand why.
Gyspsy people now are full scared.
All market is blocked. How can we get food for children?
& If we get sick, what happen? Full problem.
We are praying to God, always.
God helps us to keep the Power.
Full Power.
And we do remember, all is good.
Everyone is good. You, me. We do our best. We are good.
We go to the temple; we ask God for protection, we ask God to protect our Health, to protect our family & our children. It’s good for us.
We always keep something good for God. We do offerings. We give the best to God. So, God can help us.
What is this life? I don’t understand this life.
I don’t understand why god gave us this life. Maybe for some reason. I try to trust. I try to believe.
Sometimes afraid, sometimes smiling, sometimes praying, sometimes crying.
It’s like this.
Sometimes we sing about God.
Sometimes we make Pūjā at home.
Sometimes God helps us to be strong.
Always keeping the strong power with God.
Hey Didi, thank you. God bless you. God bless your family. I love you didi, my sister. Take care.
Since the consequences of COVID19 have a major impact for people in need, 20% of all profits from Ancien Past collection will be given to Santra & women in need from her village (Pushkar Desert, Rajasthan, India)

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